I am bookmarking this link (or click heading) in case we run into the same issue when husband comes back from deployment. Maybe he can just email this Q&A to his mom. ha.
Sally Spouse says to first set up the situation and explain how stressful homecoming is. Next step is to identify with her and her feelings (“I cannot imagine how it must feel to worry about your own child being deployed.”). Then, ask for her help:
“I need to ask you to do something for your son. He has really missed you a lot during this deployment, and he worries about you. And he would never want to do anything to hurt your feelings. But this deployment has been more stressful than he expected, and after realizing that the first few days at home are going to be really difficult for him, he has asked that no one visit until he has gotten some rest and had a few days to adjust. I can’t imagine how hard it will be for you to wait… but I know that you want what is best for him. These are his wishes, and because he asked me to talk to you, I want to make sure that I am clear. He really wants to be able to enjoy his visit with you, and that just won’t be possible during the first few days that he is home. “